Eagle’s Flight – Guidance – lights in dark places – 12/2/16

I woke this morning early, exploring my “Room with 12 Doors”. It became apparent (after a time of wondering prayer) that I had entered the door of “Guidance” which I have now subtitled, “lights in dark places”. Here’s the poem that resulted.

Guidance – lights in dark places
I walk
in the dark
and speak light

igniting with a breath
the spark
awaiting fuel
the fanning breath
the loving torch gently carried
and a flame bursts forth

quiet fire
seeking tinder
air to breathe
it glows
it grows
to desire kindling
then small logs
and then the fire depends
on its purpose
to grow and ignite the countryside
or to be set in a lamp
hung high
to mark the Way
an inn
a gateway gathering
a road carrying off into the distance
as darkness gathers
and night falls

— — —
Here’s my current floor plan of My Room with 12 Doors …We’re still building this out


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eagle’s flight – The Road Ahead – 5 Uncharted Territory – 11/7/16

excerpt from –  The Road Ahead,  Chapter 5

5 Uncharted Territory   (Endings and Beginnings)

become beginnings
revealing treasure
nowhere else

I find that I learn a lot about myself and what I do, through these “endings and beginnings”. These transitions force me to consolidate what has been familiar but is now ending, and then to start to think differently as I come into a new situation, job, or life phase, which starts out with plenty of unknown elements. And since God is both new every morning[i] and the same yesterday, today and tomorrow[ii], I can expect many times when my familiar gives way to something completely new that feels like I’m starting over.

College ends – jobs begin    

I seem to learn the most from endings and beginnings.  At the end of college I had several roads I was interested in pursuing, a teaching career in physics and math at the High School level and a slight interest in computers which I’d gotten a taste of during college, but hadn’t spent much time in computer and software related classes. I had done some tutoring and actually taught a high school geometry class when the sub in the class I was assisting in turned out to not be very good at geometry. So I was directed by the teacher to teach the class the next time that sub came in, which I did a few days later, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I like explaining things to people in ways that they can grab a hold of.

So as I was finishing up my collegiate senior year, my next step was coming down to a Peace Corps teaching post or getting my masters in Education so I could teach High School physics. I knew people who had done both that recommended each path. The Masters degree sounded like the most sure way to get a job, so I decided to do that. On the way back to my room after making the decision, I ran into one of my roommates who asked what I’d decided, so I told him. I can’t forget his reply: “Well, …. its what I would have done, but I was expecting more from you.”

— — —
[i] Lamentations 3:22-23 – new every morning
[ii] Hebrews 13:7-8 – Christ is the same forever

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eagle’s flight – The Road Ahead – 4 Deep Healing (Going Deeper) – 10/22/16

excerpt from –  The Road Ahead,  Chapter 4

4 Deep Healing (Going Deeper)

buried deep within me
I find hard rock
calcified routines
and a treasure
of who I am
in Christ
Christ in me.

God’s “too large” promises to me deal with knowing and walking into more of God and Love. Some of these take me deeper into myself for discovery and healing. As a result, some new talents have emerged such as poetry and music, which had been dormant for years. These too are part of my journey. Discovering and walking through the mansion created for me has been a large gift that keeps on giving as I find and explore the deeper places and pray into and through what I find there.

How I got here – Deep within my trash and treasure

I’ve repeated one experience in prayer probably more than any other, and that is coming to the foot of the cross of Jesus and laying down my burdens there.[i]

At least that’s how it began. At first, I didn’t know what to do, so I lay down my burdens one by one in prayer, waiting to see what else I needed to let go of and then I’d wait and finally ask what burden I should take up and carry. Over time I started to realize that I often couldn’t tell the difference between my trash and my treasure that I was carrying, so I started laying down my trash and my treasure and then asking what I should carry away for that day. Sometimes I discovered that something I treasured wasn’t really worth all that much once I put it down. And sometimes I found a direction for the day I’d not expected.

One time when I came to this place I found as a treasure a small bronze cross at the foot of Jesus’ larger cross. It seems that my cross had sprung up at the foot of the larger cross. So I took it up that day and it’s been growing in me since. My burden to bear seems to be to understand and explain things in ways that only some can understand. I found I write poetry that lets myself and others experience an emotion, a situation, a verse of scripture, or a concept in a way that gets past our analysis defense.  Instead my poems put us in the place of experiencing these things and then analyzing them later. Much like the parables of Jesus and some of the writings of the Old Testament prophets.

This burden is light when I write a poem that several respond to because it touched them. This burden gets heavy when I write or speak a word that no one understands and some misunderstand and ignore or criticize.

[i] Matthew 11:28-30 – I will give you rest

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eagle’s flight – The Road Ahead – 3. Gifts (Reaching Higher) – 9/27/16

excerpt from –  The Road Ahead,  Chapter 3

3 Gifts (Reaching Higher)

Who I am
by a touch
a word
that gave me
something new
to explore
and grow into

God gives gifts[i] that turn out to be larger than my asking. Often I feel disappointed in a gift given from God because I don’t quite understand what I’ve been given. I’ve learned to live with that disappointment for a bit as I do my initial stumbling about walking into each new unknown. A recurring “thank you” from me to God when I’ve been given such a gift is, “Um, thanks? It’s not what I expected, but I bet in 2 years time, I’ll think it’s really cool. So, be patient and show me into this gift.”   Turns out I gave the same kind of gifts to my kids. They were sometimes beyond what they currently wanted. But, I heard a year or two later, “I really appreciate what you gave me”.

Vineyard Conference #3 – I’d like a gift

On my third trip to the Anaheim Vineyard Christian Fellowship Worship Conference, I asked God for a gift from that conference. I had experienced the Holy Spirit’s presence in a variety of ways at the previous 2 conferences, so I asked for either the gift of healing, or the gift of prophecy.

Towards the end of the week’s conference, during a worship time, the band was playing and I was enjoying worshiping, the Holy Spirit fell on me and I was totally wrapped up in praising, and moving my arms with the Spirit. I was laughing and crying at the same time. At some point, the Spirit receded a bit and I sat down as the band finished its set. I was breathless and wondered, “OK, What was that?!”

Just then, a woman behind me said, “I so love to watch the Spirit fall on people.” (and I thought, “go watch someone else!” feeling embarrassed at being a spectacle). She continued, “Wimber says, as a rule of thumb that when the Spirit gives someone a gift and they laugh, the Spirit has given them the gift of healing. And when they cry, the Spirit has given them the gift of prophecy.”  (and I thought, wow! I’ve got both!) and she continued, “and when they laugh and cry at the same time, the Spirit has given them the gift of intercession.”

Whoa, that was disappointing. I don’t remember what I said to the woman. I hope I said thank you, but I felt like I’d almost gotten what I’d asked for, but that I had to settle for “prayer”

But, I knew by then that when God said something to me or gave me a gift or a word, that I always felt disappointed, but that in 2 years time, I would have come to understand just what I had been given and would have grown to love the gift.  So I told God, “thanks. Just so You know, I’m disappointed.  But probably in 2 years time I’ll feel very different about the whole thing.”

It took a while, perhaps even 2 years. But I discovered that the gift of intercession incorporates the gifts of prophecy and healing, and in fact its what Jesus is doing before the Father, making intercession for us. [i]So now I am indeed very grateful to be on this journey of intercession, in conversation with the Spirit, able to partner with Jesus, holding people, attitudes, and false gods before God and making intercession. I’ve been graced to see answers, progress and new ways of looking at things as I’ve grown in intercessory provision and authority.

[i] Romans 8:34 – Jesus is making intercession for us

[i] Ephesians 4:7-8 – God gives gifts

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eagle’s flight – The Road Ahead – 2. Doors of Entry (Brand New) – 9/14/16

Here’s my annotated Table of Contents for my book – The Road Ahead, bit by bit..

2 Doors of Entry (Brand New) [the road ahead]

I pass through a door
and find my way
into new things
and ways
I had not known

Frequently my prayers start out down familiar paths, only to find an unexpected door, a surprise ending, an answer I don’t particularly like, and I’ve come to see that this is a consistent aspect of the Holy Spirit’s conversations with me.

A House of the Lord prayer:

The House of the Lord: The Cross of Jesus

I come onto the porch of the House of the Lord
and on the far end
there is a cross
it is the cross of Jesus placed there for me

I come to the foot of the cross
and lay down my trash and treasure
the burdens that are too heavy
and the burdens I delight in
and rest


I stand ready to go
and ask Jesus to give me what he would have me carry

As I turn to go, I notice that the front of the cross is cracked along a side
I inspect it further, and find that the front of the cross is somehow loose
I pull on it, and it opens like a door
the cross is hollow inside

I step inside and examine the inside of the cross of Jesus

As I’m looking around I notice a hole in the ground at the back
I take a closer look,
it’s a tunnel down through the back of the cross
and I follow it down to see where it goes

This is a tunnel down through death

I turn back, to take this road another time.



I give thanks for what I found



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eagle’s flight – The Road Ahead – 1. Home (Rooms and Places I Go Through) – 9/4/16

Here’s my annotated Table of Contents for my book – The Road Ahead

1 Home

(Rooms and Places I Go Through)

I come
to discover
and know
my home
with Love
with God

I’ve gone through learning I was asking the wrong questions, to expect answers and believing they were answers, to learning to allow the Holy Spirit to tutor[i] me in prayer, and watching God work in people through my prayer as an intercessor on spiritual retreats.[i]  I developed a desire to tour the mansion Jesus said he was creating for me. And now I delight in my explorations and in bringing people alongside on this journey.

And my prayer for this morning:

I come
to the House of the Lord
and enter this house scripture says Jesus is building for me
and am greeted by Jesus (and / or the Holy Spirit)
who takes my hat and coat – which are my way of saving myself when I need rescue and being right when I feel I need to be right
and I feel the weight of my expectations being lifted off me

and I’m given the house hat and coat
which release me to be rescued by the Spirit and to let the “being rightness” also come from the same place

my hat is a light viking helmet with 2 horns which sometimes point up, sometimes down, sometimes one each way not always sure why
and my coat is a long haired, black white and gray shaggy long coat that reaches the floor



“So, Jesus, where to today?”

(( Come, follow me and see ))

so we walk up the nice wide wooden stairs
to the balcony above the entry way
and down the hallway to the right

and turn around a pillar out into outer space, where I can see the stars so clearly
and I just remain there
its so quiet and peaceful
and the stars are so sharp and clear
(and I’m a little nervous because this seems a rather extreme introduction to my house)

and next to me there is this elevator, outlined in blue light
and I get in
and I am taken “up” a level
and I know perfectly well there is no “up” in space, but there is no other word that fits here

so at a first level in the heavenliness
the stars look the same
but I am aware of additional presences
of angels and some of the spirit beings talked of through scripture
which I see only dimly
but am aware of the complexities of personalities and purposes of God
that require such a rich diversity of expression.

<selah> – and I just remain, and see and listen to the music, the great dance, the detail I am only beginning to apprehend

and I let the images from Revelation, Ezekiel, Isaiah, and so on come to mind
and sense the Holy Spirit’s presence in this introduction.

“Thank you”

((and Peilush smiles – You weren’t expecting that this morning where you?))


and I breathe

“Thank you for the introduction, and in such a public way too. Are you trying to get me in trouble? 🙂 “

and I return to the elevator, back down to level 0
and find myself back in the house
in the cloister with grass and a fountain. it has no roof and is open to the outside, which is where I thought I was going..

((sit and enjoy this space as long as you want))


and I give thanks
for this visit to the House that is being built for me.


Peilush is my nickname for the Holy Spirit, because “the Holy Spirit” seemed too impersonal
“these are my words addressed to God / Jesus / Peilush”
((these are God’s words back at me))
It took some getting used to, to allow myself to have these conversations with God – you can form your own opinions as to what’s really happening, but I’ve asked God to use whatever means necessary to get me back on track when I “fall off the way”. I figure God’s either big enough to do that, or God needs to find another job because this one is too much for Him 🙂

Yah – let each one make this prayer, there own. Show them around the Mansion you are building for them.

[i] 1 Corinthians 2:13-15 – Holy Spirit teaches us

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eagle’s flight – Gateway poems – Sudoku and God’s judgment – 8/51316

I love doing Sudoku puzzles. They help me clear my head and focus, not as well as a good hard row, but still, pretty good. I do them on my computer and I turn on the error checking so a square turns red if I get it wrong.  My goal is to learn how to do the hardest ones more quickly without getting any red squares.

It’s taught me a lot having a quick responding error checker become part of my morning ritual.

Sudoku and God’s judgment

a strange title
but so true

even in Sudoku
when one of the error catching squares
turns RED
my first reaction has been
“No! That shouldn’t be,
it couldn’t be wrong”

but slowly
I have gone from “NO WAY!”
to “What?  …. Oh, I see it”
to “Thanks”
not sure I’m quite always at “thanks” yet
but I’ getting there

and I’m realizing from the book “Enoch’s Blessing”
that God’s judgment goes both ways
to “sinner”  and “righteous”
but those are only the final judgments
and along the way there are many little judgments

the final judgment is the final completion of a correct Sudoku puzzle.
but along the way many decisions needed to be made to get to that final judgment.
And with God’s way through life,
His Love and sacrificial payment
taking care of my mistakes
past, present and future
provides me with an eraser

and if I could catch my mistakes early
rather than running down a long dead end
where I finally realize that I’ve missed the trail
and must turn around
find my way back
undoing the broken trail
I created by the last wrong turn
after the wrong turn just before it
the wrong turns compounded
both coming and returning
to my Way with Truth and Love

So I’ve learned to listen more
and react less
when I find I’ve taken a wrong turn
and finally someone or something got through

I spend less time fighting the correction
and just keep my eraser close by
increasing willing to use it

And as a bonus
I learn more by finding out I’m wrong
than I do from always being right.

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