Eagle’s Flight – the dark corner of betrayal – 3/25/17

I have been praying more deeply in my “Room with 12 doors” and have found it to be a useful compass to help me navigate some of my own dark corners.

In my meditations, I lifted the hiding blanket over some feelings of betrayal I’d experienced (and didn’t know what to do with) several years ago. Small things come up now and then where it feels like “the rug was pulled out from under me” and I feel it as a pain in a relationship I would just as soon break off, right now, immediately!

But I bury the feeling because I don’t know what to do with it, and try to keep on, and slowly the painful feeling “goes away”.

So in this morning’s prayer time, I found these feelings coming back. I’ve been asking Go to deal with such things and while I don’t like the feelings that arise, I do like the clean feeling I get after cleaning up some of these long time pains I’ve been ignoring. And often there is even a gift on the other side that the pain had been blocking. Perhaps an improved relationship for example.

As I explored this pain,I found the compass aspect of my Room with 12 doors helpful.  Here’s what I came up with.

Slide14

 

the dark corner of betrayal (3, 9, 6, 12)

My feeling of Betrayal

3: the ground cracks
and gives way
I am falling

9: and wake
from the assuming slumber
that everything is fine

6: the fear pain
and worry
of pain to come

12: a step towards complete
lacking in nothing
and so with Jesus
He was betrayed
in order to complete
the task he’d been given

and the ground he had been walking
with his disciples
gave way
and would hold him no longer
so he prayed in pain and blood
in the garden
as he woke fully to the reality
of the very next step

and it was done
His task complete
lacking in nothing

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
This entry was posted in faith hope and love, faith steps forward, Lent, the road ahead, the way and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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