excerpt from – The Road Ahead, Chapter 4
4 Deep Healing (Going Deeper)
buried deep within me
I find hard rock
and a treasure
of who I am
Christ in me.
God’s “too large” promises to me deal with knowing and walking into more of God and Love. Some of these take me deeper into myself for discovery and healing. As a result, some new talents have emerged such as poetry and music, which had been dormant for years. These too are part of my journey. Discovering and walking through the mansion created for me has been a large gift that keeps on giving as I find and explore the deeper places and pray into and through what I find there.
How I got here – Deep within my trash and treasure
I’ve repeated one experience in prayer probably more than any other, and that is coming to the foot of the cross of Jesus and laying down my burdens there.[i]
At least that’s how it began. At first, I didn’t know what to do, so I lay down my burdens one by one in prayer, waiting to see what else I needed to let go of and then I’d wait and finally ask what burden I should take up and carry. Over time I started to realize that I often couldn’t tell the difference between my trash and my treasure that I was carrying, so I started laying down my trash and my treasure and then asking what I should carry away for that day. Sometimes I discovered that something I treasured wasn’t really worth all that much once I put it down. And sometimes I found a direction for the day I’d not expected.
One time when I came to this place I found as a treasure a small bronze cross at the foot of Jesus’ larger cross. It seems that my cross had sprung up at the foot of the larger cross. So I took it up that day and it’s been growing in me since. My burden to bear seems to be to understand and explain things in ways that only some can understand. I found I write poetry that lets myself and others experience an emotion, a situation, a verse of scripture, or a concept in a way that gets past our analysis defense. Instead my poems put us in the place of experiencing these things and then analyzing them later. Much like the parables of Jesus and some of the writings of the Old Testament prophets.
This burden is light when I write a poem that several respond to because it touched them. This burden gets heavy when I write or speak a word that no one understands and some misunderstand and ignore or criticize.
[i] Matthew 11:28-30 – I will give you rest