eagle’s flight – Layers – 3/12/15

I’ve been finding recently that God brings to my awareness some issue, something I have a growing desire for. But it is too big for me to tackle so I get frustrated at not being able to climb, tackle, overcome or get a grip and master it.  Yet as I look back at significant turning points in my life, and as I watch young kids growing up, I see stages of change. I see growing abilities to tackle new, interesting challenges. And the doubt and frustration,  work and joy  that we go through towards reaching each accomplishment. And we repeat the cycle. Building layer upon layer.  Each major new step is a full of doubt and fear as the last one. Then each step after gets better as it slowly dawns on us where this new place is that we’re heading.
So why do we pray and “encourage” one another as if God answers our prayers in an instant?

[ audio: https://soundcloud.com/clark-w-johnson/layers ]

growth comes
in layers
built up
one by one
over and over again

I didn’t get to where I am today
instantly …

growth and change seem to get harder
as we get older

When a new change confronts us
we say, “but, its always been this way”
which somehow
a few years after the last change
perhaps 4 or 5
seems to have become true

after a transition’s painful period
we return  to
“Oh, that?
Yeah, that’s how we’ve always done it.
That’s how it’s always been.”

we forget the doubt and hard workouts that got us past our old ways
because we finally had so little to lose

so when the next hint of something new intrudes
our resistance rises
we push back
or ignore
any change
as best we can
sometimes we’re pretty good at it
and the fear goes away
replaced by the comfortable fantasy
that we’re “just fine as we are”
that its “too hard” to “go that way”
so we stay put
and perhaps
stop growing

I wonder
how  do we ever see more deeply into
a God who is
new every morning?


About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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