eagle’s flight – voices – 11/18/14

Its been a while since I last sent something out.  Lots of transitions going on with kids gone from our home, job changes, and so on. It’s been hard for me to find a new rhythm in the midst of it all, and sending out poems has taking part of the that hit. The journey continues and I’m learning some things I didn’t know I needed to learn (sigh). And there are probably more of those things out in front of me.

Voices

I don’t hear audible voices, but the feelings I around these issues are just as strong as if I did. Seems like living in a family and the church and American culture creates some pretty strong impressions that keep coming back to remind us how we really ought to be behaving.

— — —

I have heard “I can’t” when I’ve started something
that is “too big” for me
for years

and finally I have realized
that its not me saying it
and it really doesn’t apply to me
even through for years,
I’ve taken it that way

A number of years ago,
I was touched by God’s Spirit to be an intercessor
and in the course of praying for people
I’ve learned to feel
what those I’m praying for
are feeling

I’ve learned I need to “clean up” afterwards
and give the issues back to God
or I’ll replay these strange feelings as if they were my own
over the next week

before I did the cleanup
I’d come to Monday and wonder why I was depressed
and not in my way of being depressed
I finally realized I was still dealing with someone else’s problem
so I gave it back to God
and the “not my depression” went away.

so recently
I did the same with the “I can’t”s
I realized it  was not my problem
so I gave them back to God
but where were they coming from?
whose problem was it?

as soon as I cleaned up from the “I can’t”s
I was beset by
“hopeless”
“nothing will change”
“powerless”
“discouragement”
“you’ll never fit in”
“you are not cool, successful, popular, rich, famous, young, strong, rich, smart, savvy, etc  …”

and I’m realizing
that these too
are not my problem
but are things I am called
as an intercessor
to pray through
and give back to God

And these voices belong to
“the world”
“American culture”
“corporate managers”
“folks in charge, in power”
and perhaps other folks who pass them along
without thinking about where they got them.

So now
I’m on a next phase of my journeying with God
holding up before God
these things which cross my path
that are so very ingrained in our ways of doing things

seems like an interesting turning
lets see where it goes

Advertisements

About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
This entry was posted in flights and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to eagle’s flight – voices – 11/18/14

  1. Bob Mann says:

    Hi Clark – Fred Kurtz shared this poem with me. Your honesty opens the door for rumination on the ideas – thank you for sharing. Sometimes I need to blast Casting Crown’s “Voice of Truth” to drown out the voices of the world. Or just keep repeating “Jesus loves me.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s