eagle’s flight – where next? – 9/1/14

I’m not retired yet. I’m not done working for at least part of a living. But I am done with learning the next new open source programming language. I am done with competing  with 20 & 30 somethings over things they learned in school, that I have picked up along the way.  I love writing poems, music, meditations, etc … but doubt that writing can support me at the level I desire. This doubt and changes in my life’s rhythm somehow make it harder to choose what I love doing, when I “should be making money”.

where next?
(audio: https://soundcloud.com/clark-w-johnson/where-next )
so many projects
so many possibilities
and so little direction being called for
from others

with my old work ways shutting down
not taking all of my days

I’m finding it hard to
keep directed attention
on any task
that takes longer than 1 or 2 sessions
to conceive and complete

why so hard to find my own rhythm?
to map out the progress of my own days?
why so hard to generate and maintain the “drive to finish”
that I’ve apparently relied on others to provide?

each life transition is a point of stopping something and seeking to start something  else and teaches its own lessons
taking this aging student
once again
through novice, beginner, intermediate, and expert levels
with their pitfalls and restarts  to pick up things only partially understood the first time

I have begun
a new phase

and I wonder where it will take me
and when I will capture the new beat


About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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