endings and beginnings – on guidance – 5/30/13

I’m a pusher of paradigms. I enjoy looking into the ways we think and the ways we think we know what we know, and how that guides what we do and who we are becoming. After years (lots of years) of listening to people praying in churches, I realized that our prayers, our conversations with God were often geared to protect ourselves from disappointment. We weren’t really sure if God was listening so we didn’t really ask anything. Our prayers went something like, “please heal this person ….. but if you don’t, give everyone peace about it”. As a father, I would be disappointed if my young child never expressed what they really wanted,  so I decided to learn to ask, and to learn to listen and walk out what I heard. Its been at least 20 years since that decision, and I’ve found that God / the Holy Spirit / Love is the best teacher / coach / mentor ever. This One is gentle when I’ve asked,  but lets me know when I’m wrong or lost. After the first two years of working on this, I realized I got the same answer 80% of the time. It was, “You’re asking the wrong question”.

Lord
If you asked me
as you asked Abraham
to sacrifice
a first born love
would I ?

He’d already left
an old life
behind
because you asked

His wife had conceived
and they had a son
because you had promised

and me
I am slow to believe I’ve heard
and slow to follow up
on what I’ve heard
fighting (slogging) through
barriers
wishful thinking
false hopes and dreams

leaning on you
my hope
my provider
my teacher, coach and guide

yet, like me
when Abraham left
to find another place
he didn’t know where he was going
he was headed to
“the place I will show you”
as I am told
“just go. I’ll let you know
when you get there”

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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