addiction – 3/7/13

I have my favorite distractions, my comfort foods, that call most strongly when I’m tired from having run a race particularly well. I want to go somewhere and hide in the warm embrace of something or someone that makes no demands, and promises joy with no pain, success with no effort, love with no knowing. I just want to feel good and not so tired for a while.

there are things that draw me in
and hook me
somehow
so that the leaving
is much harder than the entering in

small things

a game
that goes quickly
building patterns of success
while opening doors
into deeper things
not yet understood
not yet conquered
the promise
whispered
of success
just around the next corner
and you do like it
these little victories
with promises of more

and bigger things

sticky thoughts
stories we tell ourselves
finding triggers
that excite
and satisfy
food
sex
running
draw us in
to their pleasures
and beyond
become detached from purpose
the pleasure promise
draws us further in
beyond the light of truth
which powers purpose

and large things

that take over
with the highest highs
and lowest lows
drugs
power
consuming passions
possessed beyond the natural
promises of a world remade
in (one of) our own image
all else recedes
and ordinary relationships
pale
beneath our greatness
about to be realized

yet grace
breaking free
a fresh restart
does happen
is possible
taking a special word
a hand grasping us back from an edge
a patient walking with
being loved
so we are no longer alone
with our demons
that also have a hard time
letting go
of their supposed purpose
their promise hopes
proven vain
as yet another of us lets go
rejects
turns our back
on such false promise hope
that is much like fear
and dissolves
in the light

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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