stopping out – 11/8/12

In many ways in recent years, I’ve felt lost not knowing my way forward. I’ve known where I am at work, working out, with hobbies, with friends, with church, but I’ve not been aware of the next steps forward. Then, I lose my job. And a cracked rib takes me out of my 13 year rhythm of 4/week rowing. My expected day’s activities are severely interrupted and I no longer am doing the things that tell me where I am.  I’m left with only my familiar lostness for where I’m going.  I find that (mostly) I’m enjoying this time of rediscovery and taking further steps into my passions, while awakening to things I’m no longer the expert in. Sometimes stopping is a useful course of action.

no job
no rowing
a sudden silence
in the noise of expected activity
while life goes on around me
my way forward
suddenly stopped

and I’m thrown back on
myself

and in this sorting out
I draw my passions out
from the boxes I’ve put them in
for a new look
finding new ways forward
finding places where my expectations
my ways of thinking
have been left behind
by 30 years
of new people
blazing their own trails
that now go on ahead of me

and I have this opportunity
having stopped
to breathe new air
and find my new way
forward
again

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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