faith is easy – 6/15/12

When I crash, and my confidence disappears, I suddenly believe that I can do nothing of value, and somehow even, that I’ve never done anything of value. Why such falls? Why even entertain such clearly false conversation with myself? But when I keep walking, in spite of the voice, the fog does clear and things come back together again. For me these restarts are often useful resets of my ingrown assumptions about how the world works.

faith is easy
until it’s not

walking
swinging along nicely
with multiple balls in the air
when one
falls to the ground
and obstinately
refuses
to be picked up

asking nicely
cajoling
getting angry and yelling
nothing helps
it refuses to fly

and in the meantime
with all attention
misplaced
on the misfit
the other balls
have started
having minds of their own

and the world crumbles
sometimes just a little
sometimes a lot
in a full fledged
crash

and the faith
that so easily believed
I could do anything
turns its back
and all I can hear
is “no you can’t!”

and now merely taking
that one more step
forward
is quite close
to impossible

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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