Worry Prayers – 3/5/12

Matthew 6:33-34

Once, as I was out walking & praying, taking a break from work, I walked by a small lake where some cormorants were diving for food. As I watched them dive and resurface,  the curve of their neck reminded me of dolphins swimming. And I found myself develop a strange, irrational desire that these become dolphins, that they really should have been dolphins. I knew it wasn’t true, but that didn’t seem to matter, I needed them to be dolphins.  Just then, my growing agitation was interrupted by a voice in my head saying, “man does not live by expectations alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God”.  [Mt 4:4] I laughed and realized how easily I try to make my expectations the bread I live on and base my life on.  This turned my prayers around, from telling God what needs to happen, to listening and watching for what God is doing in a situation, and learning to ask along those lines, learning to love the way God loves.

when you pray
for the things you worry about
that will never happen
you are asking
a God who sees
the end from the beginning
to make something that is not
become something that is
for the color white
t
o become the color black
for your mother
to become your father

as if you are in charge
of the shape and foundations
of the universe
as a father
I would smile at such a request
from one of my children
insisting that this little one
become the center of the universe
for this one
desperately held
desire

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About Clark W Johnson

I am a poet, interested in using poetry to explore my interactions with the spiritual. I find poetry captures tension, paradox and flow well enough so I can hold experiences at arms length and reflect on them from multiple vantage points. As I walk deeper with my God, I'm finding such a record invaluable for myself, and I find that pieces and parts touch others as well. I love and long for more points of contact along those lines.
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