eagle’s flight – Room with 12 Doors Prayer Workbook – Each New Me – 7/20/17

I’ve been creating pictures of me and my relationship to God. Much of it comes from my coming to grips with particular scripture passages that catch my attention.
I’m doing this in order to live more deeply into these passages and see what they mean and how they work in my walk and practice.
So, This picture below is a picture of me at my current stage of growth in God. It’s not a complete picture and it changes slightly as I continue walking it out. It is what I currently see in part of me on my journey.
PastedGraphic-1
and here is a prayer I’ve crafted around this picture …
You wash me as I stand before you
 
Lord, I come before You
Standing on the Rock of Your death
Rooted through to the River of Living Water
buried beneath
Wash me as I draw the water up
Wash
my physical vitality and drive
my heart felt love and purpose
my mind’s understanding
and my ability to see with Your eyes
You crown me with Your Glory
and I overflow with Your Love and Life
for those I meet
and touch
indeed Lord,
make it so
— — —
and for those interested, here is an annotated version of this picture. This is how I currently see my relationship with God. It springs from my “House of the Lord” prayers and my “Room with 12 Doors” meditations.

PastedGraphic-2

 

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Eagles’s flight – A Crafted Prayer for our time 6.29.17.1

 I’ve been trying to craft a prayer for times we live in that I can use as a base to return to. This is my first attempt.  I would be interested to hear yours.

Clark


crafted prayer – for our time 6.29.17.1

love above
love beneath
love over all things
love at the center of all things

our sins have been swept away
my sins have been swept away

our eyes opened
to death among us
wickedness from the heavenly places
raising up
“me”, “my way”
wealth as my right, my goal
wielding power in the service of darkness

touch and draw Your people out of this darkness
into Your light
let love be awakened in many
to touch one other
to touch and be touched
with and by Your Love
to touch and be touched
with and by Your Love for themselves
to touch and be touched
with and by Love for one another

let us, your people
raise up our neighbors
befriend, invite, draw close, delight in
one another
as the darkness deepens
let our lights collectively grow stronger, brighter
and breathe life
Your life in through Your people

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Eagle’s Flight – No Year of Jubilee – 5/24/17

I had a dream last night that triggered some thoughts I thought I’d share.
Some dreams are interesting and trigger some exploring, while others seem mostly entertaining. This was a thought provoking dream.
My method of dream interpretation is to first write down in a bit of a sketch what I remember of the dream. I try and just make a brief written record of what happened. What I saw felt and sensed in that dream.
Then I go back through and see if any parts of that dream trigger some kind of deeper interpretation. Perhaps a color somehow means something, or some particulars remind me of something or someone.
And then I finally jot done some things that seem to be some next steps for me to take, and I create a title for the dream so I can capture the main point somehow.
I don’t worry too much about “getting it right” I’m just trying to live a bit more into the story that emerges.
This particular dream may also have connections to a book, I’ve just started to read, Noam Chomsky’s, “Requiem for the American Dream”.
C.-
No year of Jubilee
 
my dream
it seems
that one can tell
that someone is Jewish
by looking closely at their photos
and if they have a certain look
like the sky is raining
if you look closely
then they are Jewish
and they have been trying to hide this for years
but since it hadn’t really been an issue for a while, they were getting a bit lax
not sure how they hid this
but perhaps they just didn’t show / display
photos that had this effect
but it seems that people were starting to look for this again and some were getting caught with this effect in their photos
mostly Jewish doctors
My interpretations
Yah?
What are the meanings I can glean from this dream?
raining?  tears / a deep sadness that’s hard to hide
perhaps reading Noam Chomsky is setting me on this track?
wealth jealousy may well be returning
this was mostly about jewish doctors being “found out”
and is about the wealthy feeling they know more and better than “the rest of us”
especially the poor who “brought it on themselves”
just like the rich “made their station in life” due to their virtue of “being right” and “knowing better how things should be”
justifications
for treating the “rest of us”
varying degrees of “badly”
lest the rabble rise up and take over
if  they can come together and learn they are the majority
so we tell stories
in order to strengthen our sense of place in the world
and to “smooth over”
our iniquity in this enterprise
and the results surface now and then
when the stories we tell take us too far down the road of iniquity
and we become “too right”,
“self righteous” to the point where we are holding down and putting extra burdens on those folks who are trying to rise up and take over my “justly acquired” wealth and/or position.
this is why, once every generation or so
a reset year of Jubilee really ought to take place ((says the Lord))
to reset position and the economy
before it gets too far out of hand
like right now
in the world
and in the US
My next steps: so what to do?
Lord?
indeed, what to do?
wars and rumors of wars
physical  fighting
push back all kinds of resistance
those yelling at being held down
And it takes increasing pushing down
from those on top
and requires strong action
to suppress
the rising anger
and if one “makes things better” by not letting any one subservient group get too large who would then take over in at least having their group become the ones in charge
it is then possible to stay on top
and surf the coming disaster
without too much pain
from the rising war
and in fact war
is a great money maker
and a good way to aggregate power
because nearly “anything goes”
when trying to put down those enemies
who are trying to rise up and overthrow
“MY” rightful position
“THEY” are trying to ruin the stability that we “righteously” have maintained, sharing our knowledge and wisdom
providing places for the lower castes to live and have some form of  “decent life” even though they couldn’t possibly provide it for themselves.
“we know everything necessary”
“we have access to wisdom you couldn’t possibly understand”
so we are in another period of needing a year of jubilee,
a godlike intervention
to save us from our self-inflicted wounding
of one another
and this godlike intervention
will require an exercise of either deep love or deep power to calm things for a bit
and so it will either be a year of jubilee with a deep love reset
or a year of godlike power providing a strong arm reset with many casualties,
which has the side benefit of many of the rabble needing to re-find their way, which means that they are busy adjusting to a new regime, so they have less time, energy, ability to get at the top reasons why this keeps repeating,
and perhaps a few of them will rise up to become part of the (slightly revised) set of those in power.
The rebels of the 60’s become trust fund educated members of the ruling class
knowing how we all “ought to behave”
there is some love sprinkled through this power exercise
but power remains the topmost priority
and love gets second place
and acts as a lubricant
to keep the frictions from becoming too widespread
becoming unbearable
(
whew, and I just barely started reading Noam Chomsky … what will happen when I get through his new book?  ☺
)
So, for those of us who envision Love taking its place up above Power,  what does it mean for how we handle the “power refresh”  currently building steam?
Jesus did this by joining people who would listen, finding those “fish” who were willing to be caught in the love net he and his disciples used.
It wasn’t a direct power confrontation, but he gathered those who would come and they increasingly learned to love one another, love God and love themselves.
But their image of what Jesus was doing was incomplete.
They hoped that he was to become the next King and would replace the current kingdom leaders with his love based kingdom.  And they were crushed when instead he died. Their hopes for the new kingdom dashed.  They had wanted a “power replacement” and didn’t get it when he died.
but
when he rose from the dead and then ascended into heaven, he showed a different way that used power in the service of love, rather than the other way around.  And this Love power is power
to draw us together
to draw out the best in each other
to raise one another up,
not just raising ourselves up and holding others down
and he showed a new way of dealing with the issues that arise.
Letting Love walk us down through death with those things contrary to the Love and Life God has for us.  And Jesus demonstrated how to lay down those things that block Love, to die to them and then to come out the other side and live again, more deeply in Love with God, ourselves and one another.
I find this is a repeating process, a repeating workout
and that it’s delightful coming to a more and more full realization of being so Loved by God and letting that fill all the nooks, crannies, and corners of my being bit by bit, piece by piece.  And because I am loved, I love God back and others more and more deeply. This love is a two way connection. I love because God so deeply loves me. I love others and find that they begin to love me. And so it spreads.
This love way is different from  the power way. The love way goes through my own dying through to life and power serves love.
The power way insists that others need to do the dying and I do what I can to protect my life and love serves power.
At least that’s how I see it.
I vote for Power serving Love not
Love serving Power.
How about you?
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love runs through the 12 doors

Here’s a set of poems I wrote around one of the rooms in my House of the Lord (the mansion Jesus is building for me).
One of the more recent rooms is the “Room with 12 doors”. Turns out this room is a fountain that was upstairs in a cloister open to the sky.
The doors are reached by diving deeper in through this fountain of Living Water. I’ve found these doors quite interesting and show me interesting things about myself.
I wondered what Love looks like from the perspective of each of these 12 doors.

love runs through the 12 doors

Slide1

I am the fountain

Love pours through
the living water below
drawn up and out
running over
the Holy Spirit water
from above
pours down
caught and
running over

Love of the New Now

fresh
the Love that is
new every morning

Love of Holy Spirit Fire

touched
warmed
lit
by Holy Spirit Fire
the Fire of Love
which burns without consuming

Grounded in Love

The Ground I stand on
that supports and Loves me
so that I can love others
as well as myself

Love’s Guidance

Quiet prompting
directs my steps
opens my eyes
to ways I didn’t know
I had been walking
for some time

Love’s Promised Grace

Promises given
and pieces appear
and begin to come together
and accepting
connects in relationship
as all things
are connected
in many grace relations

Fully Human Love

Love experienced
in give
and take
in offer
and receive
grown into and through
time together

God’s Love

poured out
poured in
that we may love
and see love
given and received
and given again
a Living Water flow
and we are the river

Love in a New Story

New stories
written
in our lives lived out
here
and now
connected
connecting
with others
some stories growing
have yet to be told

Waking up to Love

Waking up
with candles burning down
hearing the voice
of my love
coming for me
and delight takes me
wakes me
to love

The Love Word

I hear myself
speak a word
I’ve been given
Love reaching through me
to touch
you

A New Love Song

a refrain
comes back
lighting love
again
seeing new
through old words
a melody
we’ve shared

Love is Complete, Lacking in Nothing

Love is alive
each step
a completion
each step
a journey
fully equipped
that we see later
was exactly the step
we needed
to get here
more deeply in Love
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Eagles Flight – 5/2/17 – House of the Lord Journaling change

I’ve been praying and meditating on the House of the Lord (the mansion God is creating for me) for some years now. I thought I’d share some aspects of how I’ve come to see myself in answer to my prayer to “see the me God sees” and to “see with God’s eyes”.

Jounal Entry 5.1.17

Monday’s Journal Entry
My journaling has changed
through the years
from prose
through poems
to sketches

Now seeing myself
through God’s eyes
in part
but more and more parts
are coming into focus
as God’s Love
God’s Spirit
God’s Word
God’s Touch
increases its work
in me

I am
a tall redwood
catching the rain
of the Holy Spirit
in branches reaching up
and providing place
for people to find
comfort
protection
a place to grow
in this Love

I am
a fountain
of living water
pulling water up from the depths
and learning to let it spill over
to be shared with many
with those who would
take some
and make it their own

this fountain
in is a cloister
on the second floor
open to the sky
connected through
the rock of Golgotha
down to deep buried
rivers of living water

Its taken years of asking
to see myself
as God sees me
to get this far
and I don’t see the
the new views
stopping anytime soon.

these pictures
make for some interesting
and challenging
meditations

so,
How does God see you?

 

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Eagle’s Flight – the dark corner of betrayal – 3/25/17

I have been praying more deeply in my “Room with 12 doors” and have found it to be a useful compass to help me navigate some of my own dark corners.

In my meditations, I lifted the hiding blanket over some feelings of betrayal I’d experienced (and didn’t know what to do with) several years ago. Small things come up now and then where it feels like “the rug was pulled out from under me” and I feel it as a pain in a relationship I would just as soon break off, right now, immediately!

But I bury the feeling because I don’t know what to do with it, and try to keep on, and slowly the painful feeling “goes away”.

So in this morning’s prayer time, I found these feelings coming back. I’ve been asking Go to deal with such things and while I don’t like the feelings that arise, I do like the clean feeling I get after cleaning up some of these long time pains I’ve been ignoring. And often there is even a gift on the other side that the pain had been blocking. Perhaps an improved relationship for example.

As I explored this pain,I found the compass aspect of my Room with 12 doors helpful.  Here’s what I came up with.

Slide14

 

the dark corner of betrayal (3, 9, 6, 12)

My feeling of Betrayal

3: the ground cracks
and gives way
I am falling

9: and wake
from the assuming slumber
that everything is fine

6: the fear pain
and worry
of pain to come

12: a step towards complete
lacking in nothing
and so with Jesus
He was betrayed
in order to complete
the task he’d been given

and the ground he had been walking
with his disciples
gave way
and would hold him no longer
so he prayed in pain and blood
in the garden
as he woke fully to the reality
of the very next step

and it was done
His task complete
lacking in nothing

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Eagles’s flight – Lent 2017 – Thread 2 Compass Point – New Creation

Lent 2017

This lent instead of giving something up, I’ll try to focus on my various forms of meditation and the path that God’s been taking me on these last few years.  There are currently 3 threads, each one a bit deeper than the last. These are musings from my path. You may find bits and pieces that ring true in your walk. And for those bits and pieces, I give thanks.

Lenten Threads
1. House of the Lord Meditations
2. Compass Thread – My Room with 12 doors
3. The Dark Corners

Compass Thread – My Room with 12 doors
Compass Point 1 – New Creation

In a newly postulated theory of time, new Now’s are created just as new space is created causing the expansion of our universe and the expansion of time. So new time is created moving always forward with a newly created Now. Some of these new Now’s become special to us, a step forward in our growth or an event which shapes our vision and understanding of the world, who we are and our place with others and with God.  Such Nows are to be remembered and celebrated as stepping stones on our way being carried along in the River of Life, growing up and more deeply into God’s Love for us.

Lent
new creation
the eternal Now
light
life
a beginning
always starts
Now

The eternal
reaches in
becomes Now
and the Word creates
and makes all things

The Word
which is God
made all things

The Word
which is God
dwelt among us

New made
each now
presents
new hope
become present reality
and recedes
becomes past
a memory foundation
for further building

and some Nows
become a persistent New
a corner turned
our reality has changed
grown
ushered in a new way of thinking
a new way of walking
new character within
which sees the world
through new eyes
more deeply

— — —

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. John 1:1-5 (NKJV)

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